This Is Just To Say
by ktface3
Summary: Office spoofs off the classic poem. Very different from my normal stuff, but I hope it's entertaining nonetheless. Now complete!
1. From Dwight To Angela

_A/N: I've found a good way to tie myself over while the new episodes air! Yay! Now, I do not in any way consider myself a poet, but when I heard about this, I just had to take a stab at it. Hear me out:_

_This poem, "This is Just To Say", is a poem about a guy "apologizing" to his wife, but he's not really apologizing. That's the joke, is that he never _actually_ says, "I'm sorry" in the poem; he just recognizes that he should apologize. And so in the poetic world, this has kind of become a poem to make spoofs of, like hundreds of people have done their own versions of it._

_So after hearing about this, I thought, why not Office characters? Thusly, I bring to you several variations on the poem "This is Just To Say" written by characters on The Office to other characters. The first one is from a certain salesman to a certain accountant, and more are definitely on the way. Enjoy!_

* * *

I have euthanized

Your cat,

And put her in

Your icebox;

The cat which

You probably

Wanted me to take care of

On my lunch break.

Forgive me;

I am a farmer,

But it was beautiful

And gentle, and respectful.

* * *

_Not much now, I know, but hopefully as a collection you will find them hilarious… Review please?_


	2. From Jim To Dwight

_A/N: here's another one, folks! I'm glad to hear so many of you liked the first one. Enjoy!_

* * *

I have put

Your stapler

In a mold

Of jello,

Of which

You were probably

Needing

To use for work.

Forgive me;

You are so annoying,

So arrogant,

And needed to be put in your place.

* * *

_I have a ton more, so keep the reviews coming and I'll keep posting!_


	3. From Jan To Michael

_A/N: so, someone found me out. I was indeed inspired by last week's This American Life. Nice catch! Here's the next poem; please read, review, and enjoy!_

* * *

I threw

Your Dundie

At the TV,

The plasma,

Of which

You would stand at

And watch

All evening.

Forgive me;

You drive me crazy,

Your TV, your Dundies,

And "that's what she said".

* * *

_Poor Jan. More are on the way, but remember to review these!_


	4. From Stanley To Kevin

_A/N: this one is based off something from my all-time favorite episode, Conflict Resolution. Enjoy!_

* * *

I have eaten

The Miracle Whip

That was in

The fridge,

And which

You were probably

Saving

For your turkey sandwich.

Forgive me;

It was delicious,

Such a tangy zip

On my pasta salad.

* * *

"_I enjoy the tangy zip… of Miracle Whip." Okay, that's actually from Drug Testing, but if you look close enough, it is also mentioned in Conflict Resolution. Gotta love when Kevin is giving him the stink eye, hehe. Please review!_


	5. From Pam To Jim

_A/N: this one is based off of quite possibly one of the best scenes ever from one of the best episodes ever, Beach Games. It's not as funny as some of the other ones, but I hope you like it nonetheless. Enjoy!_

* * *

I have confessed

That I missed you

When we were at

The beach,

At which

You were probably

Hoping

For a simple good time.

Forgive me;

I had to speak my mind

After walking across

Those hot coals.

* * *

_Still plenty to go! Keep those reviews comin'!_


	6. From Michael To Oscar

_A/N: I know this is probably the tip of the iceberg in terms of things Michael should apologize for, but he has to start somewhere, right? Enjoy!_

* * *

I have outed you

As a gay,

The only one

In the office,

Of which

You were probably

Not wanting to share

With everyone.

Forgive me;

When I say 'faggy'

I mean 'lame'

And 'stupid'.

* * *

_And then they kiss. Gag. Please review!_


	7. From Pam To Michael

_A/N: big thanks to Austin B. for suggesting this one! At first I was gonna do it the other way around, but I figured then that she __so__ would apologize for something that's not even her fault. Enjoy!_

* * *

I have seen you

Without pants on

When I came into

Your office,

In which,

I should've assumed,

You were probably changing

For the fun run.

Forgive me;

I swear that

I heard you say

"Come in."

* * *

_Hope people are still enjoying these. Let me know if you can think of any more!_

_SEASON FINALE on Thursday!! Ahhhh!!_


	8. From Ryan To Kelly

_A/N: here's another poem for ya'll! Enjoy!_

* * *

I have told you

We're through

After getting

A promotion,

And which

You were probably

Hoping instead

I'd propose.

Forgive me;

I want the freedom

To get a sandwich

At two A.M.

* * *

_And do cocaine, and get arrested for fraud… oh, sorry. More to come! Please review!_


	9. From Jim To Andy

_A/N: here's another poem for you all! Sorry I haven't updated on I Bless the Rains lately; I thought summer classes would be more relaxed, and sadly, they are not. It's only the second week and I already have a paper due! Oy vey. I promise I haven't forgotten it, but hopefully this ties you over till I get some time to sit down and hammer out the next chapter of that. Please read, review, and enjoy!_

* * *

I have stolen

Your cell phone

And put it in

The ceiling,

The phone which

You were probably

Needing

To make calls with.

Forgive me;

You were fishing for me,

But I'm thankful

You didn't punch me.

* * *

_Thanks to MrsBigTuna for the inspiration for those last two lines. You know what to do now!_


	10. From Dwight To Roy

_A/N: this is playing catch-up for not being an active member on here for a while. Oh how I have missed it so. Hope you all appreciate two updates in one day._

_This one makes me giggle. Enjoy!_

* * *

I have sprayed

Your eyes, nose,

And face area

With pepper spray,

Preventing you

From probably

Punching Jim

In the face.

Forgive me;

I had to intervene,

Although knowing Jim,

He probably deserved it.

* * *

_Teehee. Do you love this one as much as I do?_


	11. From Phyllis To Michael

_A/N: I feel like she should've known that he'd cause a commotion when he found out he wasn't the highlight of her wedding, so I feel like she should apologize for it... or at least, acknowledge that she should apologize. Shrug. Enjoy!_

* * *

I have told you

You could be in my wedding

By pushing my father

Down the aisle,

And which

You were probably

Hoping to be

The main attraction.

Forgive me;

I wanted six weeks off,

And didn't want

To sleep with you to get it.

* * *

_Too bad Michael issued prima nocta... sorry, Phyllis. Reviews make me a happy panda!_


	12. From Toby To Jim

_A/N: LoveMeSomeJAM gave me the idea for this one. Thanks dear! Enjoy!_

* * *

I have put

My hand

On your

Girlfriend's thigh,

At which

You probably

Felt

Uncomfortable with.

Forgive me;

She looked delicious,

So sweet

And so warm.

* * *

_So, those last few lines are the original lines in the poem (except instead of warm it says cold and instead of she it says they), and I was originally going to change them to something else, but I think it turned out _so_ much creepier this way. Thoughts?_

_Also, if you have an idea for one of these, feel free to submit it to me. I have a few more chapters up my sleeve, but I am slowly and surely running out! Gasp! Review and let me know!_


	13. From Holly To Kevin

_A/N: no, I have not forgotten about this story! lulupanda came up with this little gem. Thanks girl! Enjoy!!_

* * *

I have treated you

Like a person

Who is slow…

You know, in their brain,

And which you

Misconstrued…

Somehow

As flirting.

Forgive me;

I gave you attention

Because I just thought

You needed it.

* * *

_Not gonna lie, this one was tricky. Hope I did okay with bringing out Holly's voice. I still have three more poems after this one, but if anyone wants to request more, feel free._


	14. From Michael To Jan

_A/N: MrsBigTuna made this request. I hope it lives up to her expectations. Enjoy!_

* * *

I have sent

A topless photo of you

To everyone

In our company,

And which

You probably

Wanted our love

To remain a secret.

Forgive me:

It isn't my fault

That Darryl

Is a skeevy little perv.

* * *

_Can I just say that I love that he ends up blaming it on Darryl? Man, I'm conceited if I get that much of a kick out of my own writing, hehe. Please help my arrogance increase and write a review!_

_Also, thanks so much to everyone who has been giving me suggestions. I would've run out a long time ago if it wasn't for all of you! If you have any more, please send 'em my way!_


	15. From Jim To Pam

_A/N: HEEEEEYYYYYYY YOU GUYS!! So most of you know I've been on a little vacay for the past week and a half, but now I am BACK, and I am ready to get writing again!! In fact, I am so excited to be back that I actually started to write stuff on the plane ride home!! That is dedication, my friends._

_That being said, loyal Philly Jam readers should be pleased to hear they'll have a new chapter to read by the weekend, and in the meantime, here's another poem to tide you over until then! Think of this as the crackers and cheese your mom sets out before the big Thanksgiving dinner to tie you over for those last few hungry hours. ;)_

_Now to preface these poems, both are from Jim to Pam, but the context is at two very different phases in their relationship. (And I think you're all smart enough to guess which phases I mean.) They are separated by my A/N in italics, and if you will notice, Bears Eat Beets taught me a new spacing trick! Very fancy. Please read, review, and enjoy!_

* * *

I told you  
I'm in love with you,  
And needed you  
To hear it

Before I  
Transferred branches,  
And you  
Got married.

Forgive me;  
I just needed  
You to know.  
Once.

* * *

_And the next one (suggested by __Shaneener__)…_

* * *

I have teased you  
And tortured you  
Constantly  
With fake proposals,

Of which  
You probably  
Have grown  
Tired of.

Forgive me;  
This time  
It isn't fake.  
Will you marry me?

* * *

_It's so good to be back! How the heck are all of you? You don't even need to review; I just want to catch up! :D_


	16. From Ryan To Everyone

_A/N: We're nearing the end folks! I've got three more chapters after this one, and I'd like a suggestion for one more if you can think of any, but I want to cap this sucker off at 20 chapters. And I'd like to preferably get this done before the season 5 premiere, just because I know there will be plenty more things for people to be sorry for in the next season._

_As for this poem, officejam suggested it, and if it seems vague, that's cause it's supposed to address everyone at the Scranton branch, but especially Kelly. Hope you all enjoy it!_

* * *

I have acted  
Like a real snake  
After I got  
My promotion,

And which  
You probably  
Got annoyed  
With me.

Forgive me;  
I know now  
That drug use and fraud  
Are much more  
Troublesome than you.

* * *

_If people can think of some that are not about Ryan, Jim, or Michael, I would greatly appreciate those ideas. Look for another one soon, as well as a new chapter of Philly Jam!_


	17. From Michael To Everyone

_A/N: Well guys, I hate to say it, but this is it. I had a couple more ideas, and all of your suggestions for new ideas were fantastic, really. I have just become burnt-out with this fic. It happens, and I feel okay with ending it here. Better than to half-ass a few more chapters and not have my heart and soul in it, ya know? This poem I've had since about chapter 6 or 7, and it is probably my favorite. I hope you all like it as well. Please read, review, and enjoy!_

* * *

I have been  
Insensitive  
To all of you  
In this office,

And which,  
At the time,  
You were probably  
Offended with me.

Forgive me;  
Behind every tasteless joke,  
There is a kernel  
Of truth.

* * *

_First, a hefty thank you is in order to all who stuck with my feeble attempt to break into poetry: Abyssion, MrsBigTuna, Austin B, hanakinstarbuck, gnbrules, Shaneener, Bears Eat Beets, CamellaBones2747, Dizzy The Magical Fpoon, LoveMeSomeJAM, lulupanda, officejam, and JAMonMyToast, and to everyone who read and enjoyed these poems. It honestly was a pleasant surprise how popular these became._

_Next, what's yet to come: I am still (slowly) at work on Philly Jam, although I know I've been neglecting it. I sadly admit that college has reclaimed my life—and my time—and so finding a good couple hours to write has become scarce. I promise you though, more is on the way. When? Not sure, but I can promise you it's coming. And when it comes, it's gonna kick your a—oh never mind. ;)_

_Last, as customary, "peace and joy be with you, harmony and wisdom." And the season 5 premiere be with you as well, in ONE WEEK!!_


End file.
